Kids Are Só Awesome Part II: Hilarious Quotes

“I love kids, but they are a tough audience.”

– Robin Williams

Op Reddit loopt een topic waarin de meest grappige uitspraken gemaakt door kinderen vermeld worden. Ik heb de allerleukste er voor jullie tussenuit gezocht!


“When I asked my 3-year-old what he thought heaven was like he said, ‘Everyone drives a monster truck all the time.’”



“I know what the f* word means. It’s like sex, but you don’t love the other person.”



“When I was little my dad told me Jesus was there with us in the room. I didn’t understand, so I asked, ‘Daddy, are you Jesus?’ He laughed and said no. Still confused, I then asked, ‘Daddy, am I Jesus?’”



“At the pool my little sister asked, ‘How does that rope stop the deep water from going in the shallow water?’”



“Panties are just pillowcases for butts.”

Pensive little girl.


“At the market my kid said, ‘Why are you buying beer, Dad? Do you know how much candy and cookies we could get with that money?!’”



“I was having dinner with my boss, his wife and their toddler. The toddler throws his spoon on the floor and says “I want a fuckin’ knife”. The parents were shocked. I quickly worked out what he was actually trying to say; “I want a fork and knife”. Never saw two faces turn from horror to relief so quickly.”‘



“I was in Florida one time, and this little kid playing at a playground with his friend just yelled, “This isn’t America! This is Jacksonville!”‘



“Okay kids, are you ready for our Luau? Kid: What’s a Luau? Me: It’s a Hawaiian party! Kid: Wine parties?! My mom has those all the time!”‘



“After explaining to my son that when bees sting you, they die, and the stinger gets stuck in your skin, he replied, “Oh no, this is horrible! What if a hundred bees sting one person?! All those baby bees with no mommy and daddy!”‘



“My niece saw me take off my shirt and, pointing at my chest, asked, ‘How come you got a beard on there?’”



“While shopping at the grocery store, my 4 year old brother asks our mom to buy him a toy. She says no and he begins to hang his head, moping. A few minutes later, she tries to snap him out of it but he persists. She asks him why he is so sad. He sullenly replies, “I’m just so goddamn depressed.”‘



“Dad are there skeleton bones inside me?” Dad: “Why yes, Honey there are” Her: “Ahhh! GET THEM OUT!! GET THEM OUT!!”‘



“My four year old is full of silly phrases and questions. Yesterday she asked me if we had any “Syrians”. I didn’t understand what she wanted, so I asked her to repeat it. She put her hands on her hips and said “SYRIANS, MAMA. GOSH. SYRRRRIANS IN THE CABINET.” I looked and realized she meant “raisins…”‘



“Little boy on a plane: “I hope we don’t crash. But if we did, I’d take my jetpack and scream SO LONG SUCKERS!”‘

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“I sometimes babysit my second cousin. He loves Ghost Busters and watches them all the time. His grandmother came to pick him up from my house, and he didn’t want to leave. She told him to pick up his toys and pack them so they could leave. I will never forget what happened next. He looked at her and said “Grandma you’re pissing me off.”‘



“My leg is full of sparkles” My 5-year old sons leg was asleep I told him that and now he always says “shhhhh my leg’s sleeping.”‘



“Eleven year old girl in reference to a morbidly obese woman: “*sigh… some people just aren’t afraid of candy.”‘



“We were stopped at a stoplight watching pedestrians. A girl with particularly questionable taste passed us, and my 5-year-old nephew exclaims, “I hope god regrets that.” Laughter ensued.”‘



“After seeing a man wearing a turban for the first time in her life, my sister, who at the time was only 6 years old, said out loud in a crowded Airport, “Look mom, a genie.”‘

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“My little cousin was holding my dog when she said, ‘If I squeezed him as hard as I love him, he would explode.’”



“Yesterday we were watching Indiana Jones, and when Indy kissed Marion my six-year-old innocently asked, ‘Is he going to get his whip out now?’”


Tot de volgende blogpost!


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